Tag Archives: theatre

All About Carmen, Bourne, and Keira

Carmen Jones: The African-American re-imagining of Bizet’s opera felt like a production very much on its last legs. Tsakane Valentine Maswanganyi playing Carmen had a throat infection we were told, and she had decided to battle on. Despite her incredible sass and stage presence, her airy, choppy vocals as she sang round her illness sometimes made you wish they’d sent on the understudy. Her leading man, Andrew Clarke had an unappetising tone, so with the two leads not at their best, it was down to solo performances from Brenda Edwards (ex of X-Factor, and clearly still having fun) and the stunning Sherry Boone as Cindy Lou to save the day.
Bourne Ultimatum: With action films usually dishing up cliche-ridden, lowest common denominator entertainment I have no idea how the makers of the Bourne Ultimatum have pulled off the coup of producing such an astonishing film. With a frenetic pace that just won’t let up, intriguingly shaky camerawork and impressively subtle acting performances all round, without a doubt, this film out-Bonded the last Bond. The most unnerving scene was the assassin loose in Waterloo station, which will certainly have me watching my back next time I wait for the 8.30 to Woking.
Atonement: Judging from the phosphorescent blue rinses in our matinee audience, grandmas will love Keira Knightly and co swanning and pouting around their way round an English country mansion in this tale of false accusations, love and war. The rest of us might wonder why they attempted to spread such a wafer thin plot over 130 minutes, padding out the screen time with jarring Tarantino-esque flashbacks and inappropriately beautiful shots of the Dunkirk evacuation. Someone was really going for the “Best Cinematography” Oscar and my patience ran out as rolls of low lying mist parted like the red sea to reveal the glowing Keira, who didn’t seem to have much chemistry with her male lead to add to the woes. The script would have made a good showy ITV1 drama, and that’s all.
All About My Mother: This Old Vic adapation of Pedro Almodovar’s classic Spanish language film was mostly successful. But something didn’t quite ring true about English speaking actors indulging in Mediterranean displays of grief and emotion, call me old fashioned. Lesley Manville lacked true depth or intensity as Manuela, which is essentially the lead role, but Dame Diana Rigg as Huma lent the production the necessary gravitas. The best laughs went to Mark Gatiss as the transsexual Agrado, with his soliloquies on life, transexuality and plastic surgery, which just goes to show that us Brits love a drag queen.

Harry Potter and the Leering Pervs

On my way to meet my friend Kevin, I had to circumnavigate a large crowd outside the Geilgud theatre. Turned out it was people queuing up to see Harry Potter in the buff in Equus.

Now I now Daniel Radcliffe is growing up rather nicely and is technically legal, but really, this is Harry Potter we’re talking about. There is something very disturbing about all this thinly-veiled perving over his young flesh.
After the play, Helena Bonham-Carter was interviewed on the radio. “Well, he’s certainly got balls!” she snorted. It just felt a bit wrong. Can we all calm down now please?